As mothers of young children, we sometimes both look forward to and dread the bedtime hour. On the one hand, we are excited at the prospect of a couple hours to ourselves, to kick up our feet, tidy up the house, soak in the bathtub, or whatever we each like to do at the end of the day. But the anticipation of a nice quiet evening can be dampened by knowing that we first have to endure The Battle. The Battle is different in every home, but often includes any combination of the following: weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth; "I don't want to go to bed, I'm not tired!"; frequent bedroom escapes; "I'm scared and I don't want to go to bed alone!"; playing with toys in bed instead of sleeping; "Can't I just sleep with you?"; and frequent drink requests and potty trips. Does any of this sound familiar to any of you? Often, by the time you have endured The Battle, you are too exhausted to enjoy your quiet time in peace, and instead just want to fall into bed yourself (preferably without any kids in it!)
My oldest son, T-Rex (as he often likes to be called), transitioned from crib to big-boy bed on his 2nd birthday. It didn't take him long to realize that his new sleeping arrangements offered new freedom, and he wanted to take advantage of it! For the first time since he was a newborn, T-Rex started to show resistance at bedtime, and I wanted NONE of it. My husband and I tried to come up with some brilliant ideas to nip this trend in the bud, and by some miracle, they worked! Here are some of the ideas we tried:
- Toy 'Guardian': We allow T-Rex to choose one toy at bedtime to 'watch over him' while he sleeps. We don't let him take the toy to bed with him; that just invites distraction. Instead, the toy goes on top of a dresser, desk, or shelf that is within sight of the bed, but not within reach. Oddly enough, this somehow allows the child to feel like he is not alone, and he 'trusts' the toy to keep him safe throughout the night. In addition, this gives a little decision-making power to your child. He gets to choose the toy each night. T-Rex will turn 5 next month, and he still enjoys picking out a toy each night to put on his shelf.
- Use The Clock: Young children sometimes feel a sense of panic when events happen with no warning. Springing the news on them with a "It's bedtime, let's clean up the toys!" is almost sure to bring about some immediate resistance. Children don't need to be able to tell time for you to use the clock when giving them a warning. In our experience, a 10-15 minute warning is a good warning time. If bedtime is at 8:00, then at 7:30, we will say, "When the big hand gets on the 9, it's going to be time to get your jammies on. After that we will read one story, then go to bed." T-Rex thinks it is fun to watch the minute hand move on the clock, and he likes to know what is going to happen and when. Giving him the warning lets him know that bedtime is almost here, but he still get a few minutes of good playing time in.
- Bedroom Drinking Cup: We used to include a trip to the kitchen for a drink of water in our bedtime routine. However, T-Rex would all-too-frequently become completely dehydrated on the short walk to his bedroom, and insist that he was 'sooooo thirsty' after we tucked him in and headed toward the door. We now keep a drinking cup on the shelf next to his guardian toy, and after he is in his bed with the blankets pulled up, we will bring the cup to him, have him sit up and drink all that he wants as the last thing we do before we turn out the lights and leave the room.
As I mentioned above, T-Rex will be turning 5 next month, so these routines have worked for us for 5 years. Bedtime is never a hassle anymore, and I get to enjoy a few short hours of quiet bliss before I go to bed myself. :)
What have you found that works for you when fighting The Battle?
